


our little remedy

by clawsnbeak



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Adam Parrish Loves Ronan Lynch, Anal Fingering, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Bottom Adam Parrish, But not explicit, Established Relationship, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Insecurity, M/M, Riding, Ronan Lynch Loves Adam Parrish, Scars, Top Ronan Lynch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2019-11-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:07:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21574234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clawsnbeak/pseuds/clawsnbeak
Summary: A few months into their relationship and they haven't had sex yet. At first Ronan thinks it's just because Adam isn't ready but he soon finds out there is more at going on.(basically adam is insecure about the scars his father left him and ronan is there to show him how beautiful he really is)
Relationships: Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish
Comments: 12
Kudos: 373





	our little remedy

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you [EmmaLThornwood](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmmaLThornwood/pseuds/EmmaLThornwood) for being the best beta I could have asked for and yelling encouragements at me in the comments. You help me become a better writer and I love you so so much.

The moment Adam walked through the front door of the Barns, Ronan shot up from the couch he had been sitting on for the past hour, gathering him up in his arms and kissing Adam all over. Adam laughed brightly and let him, melting into Ronan’s chest. When Ronan finally slowed down, Adam captured his lips with his own, curling both arms around Ronan’s neck.

Ronan could feel Adam leaning into him, trusting him to take all of his weight. Adam still harboured tiredness in him, even now that high school had ended. Taking on more hours at Boyd’s didn’t help either. His extra shifts were both a curse and a blessing for Ronan who missed his boyfriend, but could never resist the tempting smell of gasoline and sweat. The scent reminded him of fast cars and adrenaline filled nights. It never failed to turn Ronan on.

Ronan held him easily. He bent down a little, grabbed Adam’s thighs, and lifted him, making him wind them around his waist as Ronan moved them up the stairs, their lips still attached.

Ronan nearly stumbled a few times which made Adam laugh hard enough to break the kiss. Ronan’s carefree grin grew sharper, more dangerous, as he dropped Adam on their bed and climbed on top of him. Together they had redone the master bedroom, officially claiming it as their own as they couldn’t fit in Ronan’s childhood bed without one of them falling off and they would be damned if they did not sleep in the same bed while they still could. Adam’s move away to Harvard was a sore spot for Ronan, a near constant reminder that he was losing him, despite Adam reassuring him he wouldn’t, so he wrapped himself up into Adam as many times as he could before he had to let him go completely.

Ronan littered kisses on Adam’s face, down to his neck, sucking on a spot underneath his jaw that made Adam let out a soft moan. The rush Ronan felt at the power of making someone as composed as Adam lose control, even for a second, was strange yet intoxicating. He wanted to hear that sound over and over again until it ruined him completely.

Rough hands were creeping underneath Ronan’s shirt and he shivered involuntarily. Adam’s hands had been Ronan’s objects of worship for years and now he had the privilege to feel them on his skin. Ronan reminded himself that he was not dreaming, that this was real. As real as Adam nibbling on his earlobe, one of his legs hiking up to wrap around Ronan’s waist again.

His own hands travelled lower, gripping the edge of Adam’s shirt. Adam froze and Ronan quickly let go.

“I’m sorry,” Adam whispered, averting his gaze. The expression on his face was one Ronan had seen more than once by now, sadness and frustration responsible for the deep frown marring Adam’s otherwise smooth forehead. Ronan reached up to massage the wrinkles until they were gone. 

“Don’t apologise,” Ronan said gently, rubbing Adam’s arm a little as he sat down next to him. Adam leaned his head on his shoulder, his hair tickling Ronan’s neck. He could feel Adam sigh in what he could only decipher as defeat. 

They were 18-year olds in a relationship they had both yearned for during those long months before their first kiss finally happened. It wasn’t like they hadn’t done anything beyond kissing but it had always been over the clothes. The feeling each other up, the grinding until they came in their pants, the odd handjob that only allowed for itself to happen with their jeans still covering most of their legs. Ronan wanted to do more, to finally feel fully connected with Adam in any way they could but Adam always stopped them from going further.

Ronan complied like any decent human would but there were quiet days and lonely nights when Adam wasn’t at the Barns and Ronan was left wondering what he was doing wrong. 

There was a shamefully deep ache inside of him that wanted to see the vast expanse of skin hidden underneath the threadbare clothes Adam wore. He wanted to trace the freckles littering Adam’s body with his tongue and discover which sounds Adam would make. He wanted to worship every part of Adam’s body like he had done so many times before in his most sinful dreams.

Ronan wanted to talk to Adam about this, he had tried to before, but there was always something vulnerable in his eyes that stopped Ronan from pushing further. Ronan hated the thought of hurting Adam in any way and not knowing what to do about it. He was afraid of breaking him, something he never had to be afraid of before. Even in the darkest of times, Adam had been strong, stronger than anyone he knew. There was so much that boy could bear, so when his eyes spoke for him, begging Ronan to not push further, he didn’t. 

Ronan held the hope that Adam would tell him eventually, in his own time. The fear of not loving Adam well enough to gain his trust threatened to choke him. He would understand and even if he didn’t, there was nothing Adam could say or do that would make Ronan turn away from him. 

The constant worries had clouded his mind since the first make-out session that edged on turning into something more. Adam’s hands had gripped Ronan’s and pulled them away from where they had been tangled up in his night shirt. He held them to his chest, not allowing Ronan to move them again. 

Ronan had pushed it aside, thinking Adam was just not ready for sex yet, though as they moved further into their relationship and other sexual acts occurred, it seemed like sex itself wasn’t the problem; being naked was.

Ronan took Adam’s hand and kissed his fingertips softly. He felt Adam sigh and closed his eyes. 

“We need to talk about this.”

Adam didn’t respond and Ronan didn’t say anything else, letting the seconds stretch out until Adam made the next move.

“Tamquam,” Adam whispered, his voice shaking.

Ronan snaked his arms around Adam’s torso, holding him close.

“Alter idem,” he whispered back in Adam’s good ear.

Adam fumbled with the edge of his shirt, took a deep breath as to brace himself, and turned his head until he was facing Ronan. “You’re not going to like what you see.”

“What?”

Ronan stared at Adam incredulously before realising he was serious. He wanted to tell him, about how he saw Adam the first day, his bike in hand, walking by the side of the road. He wanted to make sure Adam knew he prayed for him that day and that he prayed for him every day since.

But he couldn’t. Because he was Ronan Lynch and expressing feelings was never one of his strong-suits. Because it meant giving his heart away for Adam to break, and while he wasn’t distrustful of Adam and his very capable hands, it was too much. 

He would tell him one day, when he was older and ready. When he was finally capable of giving Adam what he needed. 

“You’re gonna be disappointed,” Adam tried again. “It’s not gonna be what you expected.”

“Adam,” Ronan said, softly this time. He reached out to him but Adam shied away.

“It’s ugly.”

Ronan froze. He raked his eyes over the boy in front of him; his lightly curled dirty blonde hair that was lightened by the summer sun, his high cheekbones, the elegant lines of his body that seemed to go on for miles.

“You are not ugly, Adam.”

“The scars are.”

Adam couldn’t look at him and suddenly it clicked. He was going to murder Robert Parrish. Ronan balled his hands into fists, fury rolling over him in tidal waves. 

_ How fucking dare he? _

Adam’s eyes were downcast and when Ronan lifted his chin with a shaking hand, his cheeks were wet. Adam must have seen the anger in Ronan’s eyes, the tightness of his jaw because his eyes hardened too, preparing for a fight they’d had many times.

“Ronan, don’t-“

“Why the hell not?” Ronan’s nostrils widened with the air he blew out in a short rasp. “Your father is a fucking asshole.”

“Don’t you think  _ I  _ know that?” Adam’s voice was lower all of a sudden, his expression solid stone. . “I have to live with what he has done to me.”

“And I can’t be angry about that?” Ronan said, this time accusingly. Adam’s eyes turned to steel, and he jumped off the bed before Ronan had the chance to reach out.

“How dare you blame me for this.” Adam’s voice was shaking, with a finger pointed at Ronan’s face. “I didn’t ask for this.”

Before they got into their relationship, when they were still friends and figuring everything out, Ronan would have bitten back, said something even more hurtful and then waited for Adam to one-up him. He would have started a screaming match because that was how he got Adam’s attention before it was freely available to him. 

Now, he realised that this wasn’t helping. He realised that this was not helping Adam, this was making it worse, and the last thing he wanted was to add to even more hurt in Adam’s already tough life. 

Ronan’s shoulders sagged, his hands moving up to run through the hair that he was growing out again. “I’m sorry.” 

Adam’s eyes softened a bit but he was still keeping his distance from Ronan. And understandably so.

“I’m not trying to blame you, Adam. I’m just angry at what he has done to you. And I don’t like you thinking of yourself as ugly. That’s the last fucking thing I would say about you.”Ronan shrugged. “I mean ‘a huge nerd’ would be a better fit but-“

Adam calmly walked to the other side of the bed, grabbed a pillow, and hurled it at Ronan’s head with as much strength as he could.

Ronan sputtered indignantly but Adam was laughing and the knot in Ronan’s stomach unfurled a little.

“You haven’t even seen them,” Adam said, his face serious and stoic again. 

“So let me.”

Adam hesitated for a second but climbed up the bed, moving into Ronan’s space until he was close enough for him to reach. Ronan kissed him deeply, wrapping his arms around Adam’s slender body. He bit Adam’s bottom lip softly, pulling at it a little until Adam gasped and he could curl their tongues together. 

Adam positively  _ melted  _ into his arms, prompting Ronan to lie him down on the bed, his hair contrasting against the white pillows of their bed. Ronan could have stared at him for hours, quietly worshipping him, but there was so much more he could worship if he moved things along.

This time when Ronan reached for his shirt, Adam didn’t stop him. Ronan held the fabric in both hands and Adam arched his back to help him along. His eyes were squeezed shut as Ronan took in his upper body.

There were scars marring his torso, some running across his chest, some burn marks on his shoulder Ronan knew must have been from a cigarette end. Some were bigger than others. Ronan traced the biggest one on his side with a careful finger, following it with his lips. 

Adam released a shaky breath. 

When Ronan met his eyes again, they were still big and scared but darkening the more Ronan ran his fingers over the slight bumps on his skin. Goosebumps raised on his bare arms when Ronan flicked his tongue over a small burn mark on his shoulder.

Adam’s hand shot out to hold Ronan’s head and guide it upwards to his mouth. Their lips connected softly, sweetly, a reassurance more than sexual intention. That was until Adam opened his mouth further, licking into Ronan’s mouth. He moved away and Adam shot upwards to reconnect their lips but Ronan held him back with his hands on Adam’s torso, his thumbs rubbing over the soft skin as Adam let out a small whine. 

Ronan leaned forward until their breaths were mingling, watching in amusement as Adam grew more restless, the body moving under his own almost frantic.

“You’re beautiful, Adam.” 

The serious tone of Ronan’s voice froze Adam’s moving body for mere seconds. Ronan could just see the twinge of redness on Adam’s cheeks before he was pulled down with a strong force, Adam’s arms snaking around Ronan’s neck and keeping him in place, while one hand slid down his back to rest on the inked skin. This time the kiss was fervent. Tongues intertwining, teeth clashing. Ronan groaned as Adam’s nails dug into his skin.

It wasn’t long before Adam thrusted his hips up into Ronan’s, knocking the breath out of them both.

“We don’t have to,” Ronan said, his voice strained. 

Adam shook his head. “I want to.”

“Are you-“

Adam cupped Ronan’s bulge and silenced him. “I’m sure.”

Ronan thrust his hips into Adam’s hand before sliding out of Adam’s reach, attacking his neck with renewed vigour. Adam threw his head back to give him more access, something Ronan made grateful use of.

“Ronan…” Adam said breathlessly, pushing his head downwards. Ronan looked up at him to smirk at his desperateness, at the widened pupils that looked back at him.

He treated Adam’s chest more gently, licking across every scar, tracing his fingers along Adam’s sides until he was interrupted by the rough fabric of Adam’s jeans.

“Before you ask,” Adam said, still out of breath, “yes, you can take them off.”

Ronan didn’t think twice. It took him a few seconds of struggling with the belt Adam always wore before he could unbutton his jeans and pull them over his hips, Adam helping him by lifting them while laughing silently at Ronan’s fumbling. His shaking shoulders shot up as Ronan put his mouth over the tent in Adam’s boxers, licking over the head of his erection through the fabric. 

“Not so funny now, huh?” Ronan said, inches away from Adam’s erection, letting his hot breath ghost of the now damp fabric.

Adam groaned in frustration, hauling him up to nearly rip Ronan’s shirt of, throwing it into a random corner before turning them around, Adam now on top of Ronan opening his jeans button in one swift motion of his hands. 

He helped Adam slide it down his legs, the tight material stuck at his ankles. Adam made an impatient noise and yanked hard, taking Ronan’s body down with him.

“Easy, Parrish.” Ronan’s soft laughter quickly turned into a groan when Adam climbed on top him again, this time bracketing Ronan’s hips with his legs, holding himself up on the bed frame as he ground his hips down.

Adam had always had a thing for control. It was something he was afraid of losing and all too eager to take. Ronan couldn’t deny that it was fucking attractive and he wouldn’t mind exploring this authoritative side of him later but now it was about Adam, about him finally letting himself go without the insecurities that had been weighing him down for god knows how long. 

Ronan grabbed Adam’s hips, holding him still and forcing him to look at him. 

“How far do you wanna go?” Ronan asked, watching as Adam’s face went through a multitude of emotions.

“All the way,” Adam confessed. Ronan’s cock twitched. Adam’s smile was positively sinful. Leaning down, Adam kissed them until they were both panting, their hands roaming each other’s bodies, finally able to explore after months of waiting. 

Ronan felt like he was gonna explode.

“Do you have-“ Adam started, gripping Ronan’s shoulders tightly. 

Ronan nodded and rummaged in the bedside-table on his side, grabbing the lube and box of condoms he had bought not too long ago.

Adam raised an amused eyebrow.

“I wanted to be prepared,” Ronan said bashfully, feeling his cheeks heating up. 

Adam took his jaw in one of his hands and pecked him softly. “I’m grateful for that.”

After a bit of stumbling around they finally managed to remove their underwear, Adam back on top of Ronan, handing him the lube pointedly.

“Like this?” Ronan asked, uncapping the lid to pour some on his fingers.

Adam nodded and held himself up a little to give Ronan more access. Ronan lined up a finger with Adam’s hole and started to push in.

“That’s fucking cold,” Adam snarled, his voice shaking. Ronan was starting to pull away but Adam ground down, Ronan’s finger now full buried inside of him.

“Just keep going.”

Ronan probably took longer than necessary to open Adam up but as far as he knew this was both of their first times and he didn’t want to end it with a trip to the emergency room. So he took it slow, taking minutes between each fingers until there were three fingers pumping inside of him, stretching him.

Adam was sweating above him, his skin glistening, panting and moaning, his eyes rolling back into his head when Ronan finally found his prostate.

“God -  _ Ronan _ ,” Adam moaned. “I’m ready, please.”

Ronan removed his fingers and Adam whined a little at the loss. 

Ronan put opened the condom package with shaking hands, taking a few times to get it on. He quietly reprimanded himself for not going to those sex-ed classes in high school but he managed. 

Adam took Ronan’s cock in one hand and Ronan had to refrain himself from coming right away. He felt Adam slowly guide it to his hole and sink down, going little by little with the kind of determination in his eyes Ronan had only ever seen on him before during tough classes where he was adamant on proving he was good enough.

Ronan rubbed his sides, relaxing Adam enough to completely sit down.

Adam started moving on top of him, lifting himself up and grinding down, riding Ronan in circular motions. Ronan threw his head back and arched into the pillow as he gripped Adam’s sides tighter, seeking anything to hold on to.

As he looked up to stare at the beauty that was Adam Parrish riding his cock, he noticed he had gripped Adam right over the scars Robert had put there. Ronan couldn’t make out what it could have been that scarred him but the marks were large enough to give him an idea of how much it would have hurt. 

Adam noticed his staring and bent down to kiss him. 

“It’s okay,” he whispered into Ronan’s mouth. Ronan eased back but he kept his hands on Adam’s sides as if he could protect the blows from the past.

Adam’s motions grew frantic and Ronan helplessly bucked up, making Adam throw his head back. Every scar was on display, every bit of imperfection Adam had been afraid of showing him. And here he was, unashamedly letting Ronan in on this part of himself too. 

Ronan pushed past the tears that were welling up and instead focus on bringing Adam as much pleasure as he could, snapping his hips upwards, until Adam practically screamed.

Ronan smiled and aimed for the little bundle inside Adam that worked him up to near constant moans. The sounds that were coming out of Adam brought Ronan very close to the edge and he was determined to make Adam come first so he wrapped a hand around Adam’s erection and started pumping in time with his hips.

Adam’s nails were digging into his thighs as he leaned back, completely giving himself over to Ronan.

“I’m close,” Adam said through gritted teeth. It took mere seconds before his mouth dropped open and he came, some of the cum hitting Ronan’s chin.

Ronan tried to work him through it but the contractions of Adam’s hole combined with the sight of Adam coming at Ronan’s hands made him tip over too, seeing white as his mouth drops into a soundless scream.

Adam slowly eased off of him and rolled over to lie down next to him. Ronan binds the condom off when he finally regained his senses and dropped it next to the bed, reminding himself to dispose of it later. 

Normally, Adam would have reprimanded him for not cleaning up after himself but he was too spent, his eyes half closing already.

“I’m sorry,” Adam said, wiping away the bit of cum that had hit Ronan’s chin. Ronan wordlessly took Adam’s finger into his mouth and sucked it off. It didn’t taste as bad as he thought it would.

Adam groaned and threw and arm over his red face. “I cannot go again, you gotta give me a minute.”

“We have time,” Ronan told him as he gathered him up in his arms. He kissed the scar near Adam’s collarbone and felt him smile against his cheek. It was gonna take some time before Adam felt truly comfortable with his body but Ronan was going to be there, worshipping his body, coaxing him into loving himself more, because there was nothing more magnificent than Adam Parrish and Ronan was gonna make sure he saw that too. 

**Author's Note:**

> You can also follow me on [tumblr](clawsnbeak.tumblr.com)!


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